


i guess i just got hopeless (i wonder when it happened)

by catsinouterspace



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, M/M, Soulmates, non-traditional soulmate au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-24
Updated: 2019-10-24
Packaged: 2021-01-02 16:13:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21164459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catsinouterspace/pseuds/catsinouterspace
Summary: Naruto knows who his soulmate is, he just needs a mark to show it, then he'll be able to prove to Sasuke that they're supposed to be together and he'll finally come home.





	i guess i just got hopeless (i wonder when it happened)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Cerberusia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cerberusia/gifts).

Naruto inhaled deeply, counting to five before exhaling. The breathing exercises did nothing to stop the thrumming of his heart. He rolled onto his other side, the pillow was oddly lumpy and he couldn’t find a way to lay on it that felt even close to comfortable. Jiriya was out tonight, probably spending his money on escorts or finishing off another chapter of Icha Icha. 

Tomorrow would be one of the most important days of Naruto’s life and he couldn’t quell the nervous energy that was racing through him.

The blond sighed. He moved his hands together in a quick flash: the sign for a shadow clone; himself and his clones repeated the gesture until the room was so full of them they were piling up on top of each other, eliciting shouts of “_ Hey!” _ and “ _ Watch it! _”

The clones began to spar, bodies disappearing with a poof of smoke as they tumbled around the room declaring their strength.

“But if you’re the strongest so am I because I am you!” One clone taunted another.

“Shut up!” The other yelled, too sleep deprived to come up with a better retort.

The squabbling continued until Naruto stabbed a final clone in the side, leaving him alone in the room again. He collapsed onto the bed, exhausted from the chakra required to sustain the number of clones he had created and the ensuing fight. 

* * *

Naruto sat up, rubbing a hand across his face, wiping dried drool from his mouth, awoken by the sun filtering in through the window.

He froze for about half a second, _he was fifteen today, _before jerking completely upright, he yanked the sleeves of his pyjamas up, twisting his arms around to reveal nothing but bare skin. In most cases soulmate names was printed across their destined's wrist, giving a whole new meaning to _wearing you heart on your sleeve_; still it wasn’t unheard of for the mark to appear elsewhere.

Naruto propelled himself out of bed, legs racing across the ground to his bathroom as he yanked off his shirt.

He twisted himself around in front of the bathroom mirror, viewing his completely plain back, Naruto’s heart beat seemed to be picking up with every second and he worried that if he didn’t find the lettering soon it’d explode right out of his chest.

Naruto moved his hands together, a perfect replica of himself poofing into existence, the clone quickly began to strip off, searching for the mark on himself as the real Naruto spun him around.

_ Nothing. _

The clone turned to stare at Naruto, blue eyes meeting blue, for once both wordless as the same thought crossed their mind.

The clone pulls open the drawer, rifling through it to find a pair of scissors, he hands them to Naruto.

“I’m sorry.” Naruto murmurs but the clone doesn’t seem fussed, bowing his head down for easier access.

Clumps of blond hair spilled out across the tiled bathroom floor. Naruto isn’t sure whether the hair will need to be swept up or if it’ll poof away with the clone but right now he has bigger problems on his mind, like _ where is that goddamn name, _panic crawling up his throat as each snip reveals only more plain skin.

Naruto stared at the, now completely bald clone, all that he learnt from this exercise was that he looked really shit with a shaved head.

He stabs the clone with the scissors in his hand, poofing it, and thankfully the shorn lops, into oblivion.

* * *

“Do you know what the date is?” Naruto asked Jiraiya as a greeting when the man walked into the hotel room.

Jiraiya paused, “Uh, the what, ninth? Oh no because last Saturday was Stars Day so the tenth.”

“You know it’s my birthday right?”

Jiriya comes to a halt for a moment, but then his face split into a broad grin, “Of course I do! Why else do you think I’m taking you out to get ramen? As much as you want!” As soon as he hears the words leave his mouth Jiriya regrets them, he knows how much this kid can eat.

For once, Naruto does not seem placated by the offer of ramen. “My _ fifteenth _birthday.”

_ Oh fuck. _ Jiraiya had forgotten about this. And he _ really _hadn’t wanted to be the one having this conversation with the boy.

“Naruto…” He trailed off.

The kid’s eyes were awfully large and watery, tears threatening to spill over the edge.

“I’m so sorry, kid.”

“What do you mean?” Naruto asked, his voice edging into panic.

“You know that, that,” He taps Naruto’s stomach, “Gives you great power.”

Naruto continued to stare at him, clearly oblivious to the direction in which this conversation was heading.

“You could either be the Leaf’s greatest asset or their greatest liability.” 

“So?” Naruto asked.

“The Third didn’t want there to be any divided loyalty.”

“What does any of this have to do with my soulmark?” Naruto yelled at Jiraiya, tired of waiting for the man to get to the point.

“When you were a baby, the Third performed a Jutsu on you that would keep your mark from appearing.” Jiraiya hadn’t agreed with it but he hadn’t tried to stop the Third either, after all Minato was gone, so many were dead, the village in tatters, what was one kid’s chance at love in the face of that?

* * *

Jiraiya finds Naruto about an hour later, finding him wasn’t exactly hard, after all there was only one ramen store in town, but he’d wanted to give the kid time to cool off after he’d ended their previous conversation by bolting outside of the room.

“How do you rate it?” Jiraiya gestures to Naruto’s pile of bowls, hailing down the waiter to order his own.

Naruto shrugs, “No Ichiraku’s.” It didn’t look like the apparent subpar quality of the ramen was doing anything to stop the kid trying to drown his sorrows in pasta.

“You know just because you don’t have a mark doesn’t mean you won’t find who you’re supposed to love.” Jiraiya ruffled the kid’s hair, in what he hoped was an affectionate gesture. 

“It’s not about finding them, I know who they are.”

Jiraiya's raised his eyebrows, Naruto had spent a lot of time talking about that Sakura girl in his team, about how he had to find and bring back Sasuke as a promise to her, it seemed a bit odd to him, trying to win the girls heart by bringing her another man but-

“It’s just if I had the mark I could prove to him that we’re supposed to be together, and then Sasuke’d come home.”

_ Oh. _

“Well, Sasuke would still have the mark.”

Naruto turned to Jiraiya, eyes wide.

Jiriya paused, he wasn’t sure he should be encouraging any false hope from the kid, but, well, who was he kidding? Nothing he said was going to dissuade Naruto from chasing Sasuke down anyway.

“Wait but, Sasuke’s birthday is before mine.” _Nearly three months before._

Jiraiya exhaled slowly through his nose; soulmarks actually dictating who you ended up with was still a fairly new concept. He had grown up during the war, a time when you were more likely to find your soulmate after they were dead then to actually meet them, or worse they'd be from the opposing side. The idea that a name inked onto one’s skin had any true meaning was frowned upon, there were so many more important things than love, even if one’s soulmate was alive and was on the right side, you still had to be willing to lay down your life and risk your family for your village. Jiraiya didn’t know Sasuke personally but he was damn sure that the Uchihas hadn’t changed their way of thinking since the last ninja war.

“Naruto, sometimes there are things more important than soulmates.” 

This had been the wrong thing to say.

Tears started to spill out of Naruto’s eyes, “But it’s _ true love _.” He whined.

Jiraiya didn’t even know what to say to that, _ sorry kid but there’s other types of loyalty? _Loyalty to a vendetta and a clan long dead? Somehow he didn’t think that his student would take solace in such words. “And I’m sure he’ll figure that out soon, but Naruto, Sasuke’s been through a lot, he might not be ready yet.”

For the first time that day Jiraiya had managed to say the right thing, Naruto’s face split into a grin, even if his eyes were still watery, “You’re right sensei! Which means I gotta keep training so I can be strong enough to bring Sasuke home, believe it!”

* * *

Sasuke didn’t, however, seem inclined to care about true love and things went to shit. Again, and again, and _ again. _But Naruto’s devotion to him never wavered, no matter the cost.

* * *

Naruto ran his finger reverently over the small crescent moon marking Sasuke’s wrist before bending down to place a kiss on the exposed skin.

“I’m glad we have these.” Naruto said.

Sasuke raised his eyebrows at his boyfriend, the two were reclined a few miles out of the Leaf, the moonlight casting shadows of trees across the field they’d chosen to escape to for the night.

“I mean having your name on me doesn’t really matter anymore,” And it’s true, now that they’re like this, now that Naruto finds himself curled up against Sasuke’s side a marking like that really meant nothing but he still remembered how _ awful _it had been to wake up without the universe confirming what he already knew to be true, “but I kind of like having our own soul marks anyway.” Naruto pressed his wrist against Sasuke’s, putting the little moon and sun together.

Sasuke snorted, “You’re a sap.” He said pressing his lips to Naruto’s forehead.

Naruto shoved at him, but not hard enough to actually push him away, “Hey!”

Sasuke rolled his eyes pulling Naruto in for a kiss, Naruto pressed his hand against his back, dragging Sasuke closer to deepen the kiss, as they broke apart Naruto’s hand trailed to Sasuke’s left shoulder, “Where was my name?”

“What?”

“I mean, I gather it was on your left arm but where exactly?”

Sasuke blinked at him. “I never had your name, Naruto.”

Naruto paused for a second, before his brain caught up with his mouth, “Wait, they stopped you from having a soulmark too? Why? Because you’re an Uchiha? Or is it because of the curse mark? Why would th-”

“Naruto.” Sasuke cut him off. “I had a soulmark, on my left forearm,” He ran his finger up the inside of his right arm where the name had occupied his left, “It just wasn’t your name.”

Naruto felt like he’d been punched in the stomach. No. It was worse than that, he felt like he was twelve again and Sasuke was trying to rip his beating heart out of his body, but this time in a much more metaphorical sense.

“Hey,” Sasuke said in an uncharacteristically gentle tone as he watched Naruto’s face fall, “What’s wrong?”

“So we’re not supposed to be together?” Naruto had been so _ sure, _all of these years everything always led back to Sasuke.

Sasuke rolled his eyes, “Of course we’re meant to be together Naruto.”

“But we’re not soulmates.”

“Oh yeah, because the universe always knows what’s right.” Sasuke grabbed Naruto’s hand squeezing it, “I love you, I don’t need some stupid mark to tell me that.”

“But-”

  
“Naruto,” Sasuke cut him off, “I chose you,” sometimes he still felt guilty for that, wondered if he was betraying his Clan for this, giving up on all those years of trying to right the wrongs, but more than that he feels like he wasted years not being with Naruto. “And you chose me.” Sasuke tilted his head up to the sky, the stars magnificent just a few miles out of town and free from the light pollution of the village. “Even if it wasn’t _ written in the stars,” _he rolled his eyes at the last few words, voice laced with sarcasm, before turning his head back to face Naruto, “You kept choosing me, no matter how much I pushed you away, and that means more to me than any name that just happens to appear on my skin.”


End file.
